2004 – Mysteries, Mazes, Musical Manifestations

After the Cornucopia CD release party, I began to let The Pencil People project dissolve of itself naturally. It seemed whenever I culminated one project, I lost motivation to promote it and preferred to move on to the next creative adventure. Levelsix was now establishing a presence in the local heavy rock scene. I deeply loved the music and the vibe of The Pencil People, however there were at least three main factors which made it a natural choice for me to focus on Levelsix instead. First, prolonged singing (especially high notes) hurt my throat, so not being a primary singer was attractive. Second, taking on the entire financial and operational burden of the band by myself was not feasible in my circumstances. And thirdly, since the Pencil People was “my” band it was only natural that the other members could not be as devoted as I was even if they loved the project. On the other hand Levelsix was a “democratic” band and had enough conviction to ask me to join, so I felt confident that this band had more factors going for it to naturally make a splash soon. 

On a chilly Valentine’s Day, Levelsix performed at Acme Underground (9 Great Jones Street, NYC) with fellow rockers Die Verse and Inborne. A review of the show penned by Tommy V and published in Baruch College’s The Ticker reveals details.

Level Six took the stage. The set list was the same as the previous two shows save for a new song called “These Things,” a blistering power metal tune that rails against government corruption and ineptitude. The set’s closer featured a pounding opening guitar riff sounding like a jackhammer ripping apart a New York City street. The band also happened to give its own disturbing ode to the Valentine’s holiday with the punk-infused “Love Is a Myth” (one of the more ironic moments of the night).

. . . An energetic playful guitar duel between La Rocco and Sheridan took place, featuring slices of classic guitar licks from the likes of AC/DC, Diamond Head, Iron Maiden, and King Diamond. This was a good showcase of the remarkable talent of the band’s two guitarists; they were both well received by the audience as cheers and applause rose up during their musical contest of wills.

So, while I allowed Levelsix to be my main band priority, I was also still flexing my musical muscles wherever else I could without interfering with the band. I still maintained my own website featuring my music (with the help of Jason Hills) and continued to take on the occasional freelance gig.

In late February I was deep in renovating my apartment in The BASEment[1]. This included late nights hanging out with friends and painting walls while drinking and getting high. I also redid some of the flooring on my own. The kitchen got quite the makeover with the wall above the wood paneling becoming lime green and the molding a bright yellow accented by a new yellow metal trash bin from Ikea.

The family musical Jack! which I had been steadily developing with writer Hana Roth Seavey was coming along nicely. From end of February through early April, we had the great fortune to have a run of our show Jack! at New York City’s Looking Glass Theatre directed by Kate Marks. It was a real treat to see and hear the songs that Hana and I had labored on for quite some time finally come to fruition in a real off-off-Broadway musical with good quality actors, music, and direction[2]. We were reviewed by the New York Times:

     . . . This musical adaptation of “Jack and the Beanstalk” is given an Appalachian flavor by Hana Roth Seavey (book and lyrics) and John Henry Sheridan (score). Although the staging is intimate, much about this show is big: really big . . .

     . . . Mr. Sheridan’s lively score embraces bluegrass to hip-hop, with instruments ranging from guitars to piano to washboards. It’s all very danceable, and at the end the actors invite the children onstage for some twirls: a kind of “ding-dong, the giant is dead” celebration.

After the promising experience with Jack! I was looking into how I could expand my potential as a composer. I would list up contacts for leads. I would also list up completed compositions that I could showcase either in score form or as a recording, or both. I was not super inspired by the prospects of a career as a composer but felt it worthwhile to explore possibilities in this field in addition to my activities in a heavy rock band, freelance work, and guitar teaching.

My first car was a huge blue Grand Marquis, I took a ride out to northern Long Island with Larisa as a day out. It was the first time that we allowed ourselves to be physical with each other. On the drive back she said, “Happy March 1^st!”. I was surprised. “Whattaya mean ‘Happy March 1^st’?” She explained that it was a common thing to say in Europe. “Oh, ok”. We were attracted to each other in a real way, although it often felt more like a close brother and sister type of bond. Despite that, my hormones kept pushing me to test if we could have that romantic closeness I hadn’t really felt with anyone since Ella several years ago. 

On March 7^th, a Sunday night, friend Monique Horn and I went to a Japanese party in downtown Brooklyn. I learned how to cook pork-fried rice in a cooker and met a Japanese girl Miyuki who told me her name means “beautiful song”. I had met Monique at a District 22 show at the Elbow Room sometime in the spring of 2003. She was one of those unique friends who was generally up for an adventure, particularly the reckless, dangerous, or naughty variety. Though we often hung out just the two of us, we never developed a romantic or attached relationship. It was quite strange in some ways. We had a sort of agreement that since neither of us were with anyone at that time, we would allow people to assume we were together if they wanted to, even though we weren’t a couple. As I was a single guy and Monique was attractive in her way being physical with her naturally crossed my mind many times. However, the chemistry was simply not there. We may have been a bit drunk one time and tried to kiss but it just didn’t work out. 

The next night I and a few friends, including Jack Lanza, caught an exciting night of live music at Arlene’s Grocery (95 Stanton Street, NYC). It was the Alex Skolnick Trio, followed by ZO2 and then the bombastic Monday night karaoke with the house band closed the night. Skolnick (of Testament fame) and his band were incredible, ZO2 was very tight and energetic. I got a copy of their debut album, which had impressive artwork and production. On Monday March 22^nd, it was our turn to play at Arlene’s Grocery. Levelsix opened the night with a performance at 8pm, no cover charge followed later by the Monday Night karaoke house band including the Z brothers. The following weekend Levelsix performed a late show with friends Inborne at Courthouse Bar and Grill in Massapequa, Long Island. The next night found me back on Long Island performing with Plush on a stage situated in the middle of a bunch of bowling lanes at a bowling alley. Instead of traveling together with the band (which I usually did), that night I traveled there and back in my own car with Larisa. It seemed like the Plush gig was running its course. Talk of Plush had quieted down and I soon learned from an email that there was big news in the camp of the Z brothers (Dave and Paulie). Their original rock band ZO2, whom I was a big fan of, was gearing up for a summer arena tour opening for rock legends Kiss and Poison! Wow, congrats! I’m jealous and genuinely happy for you guys!

Guitar teaching kept me busy as a steady income stream. Having several students in a row at home in The BASEment apartment could grow tiring. So having some lessons to travel to at the homes of students kept things a bit more interesting, although getting from one to the other could be a hassle especially faced with Brooklyn’s late afternoon traffic and parking difficulties. 

After years of friendship and my not-so-secret romantic interest, Larisa and I finally entangled for several weeks experimenting with one another as a potential couple, with me spending as much time as I could by her apartment downtown. One day in mid-April, Larisa and I took a long walk ending up on a bench by the Brooklyn Promenade. Were we a couple? It was time for that long-anticipated talk about “us”. When I broached the subject about our relationship, she revealed what her vibe had been saying for a while already. She loved me as a friend but wasn’t feeling the chemistry between us as a romantic couple. To my surprise, I almost felt nothing. She truly expressed herself, so there was nothing for me to do but accept it and move on. I was a bit disappointed perhaps, but my overriding sense was that it simply could not work if the feelings between us weren’t completely mutual, which they weren’t. Her clear communication to me was a relief. Now I could stop pursuing the false hope that we had a future together. At least we tried. Fortunately, I soon headed out on a trip upstate to Ithaca, NY to visit Jason Hills and spend a weekend at his dormitory at Cornell University. Being with Jason and his pals in a cool college town was just what the doctor ordered to help me take my mind off my romantic “failure”.

Politics, personal relationships, individual identity, ambitions, desires, drives, cravings, religion, divergent philosophies all played into my mind space. In some ways I was desperately struggling to figure out who I was in the context of the strange and complicated environment which was New York City in the early 2000’s. It was almost 1 year now since I graduated college, and in some respects, I was more lost than ever. However, I sensed that this was an important stage in my life and that if I followed the signs and kept listening to my heart, I would find a way through the chaos.

On Tuesday April 20^th, I thought I’d try my hand at busking. I’d never actually played on the streets for money but always admired those who did. I took an early train ride into Manhattan with Yae thinking we might catch some of the 420 Weed Day activities later when he got out of work. After working on some music compositions at Starbucks, I went to get my composer portfolio back as they were going with someone else for the project I had auditioned for. As I walked around my hemorrhoids were torturing me. It was unpredictable when they would flare up. I setup shop in Union Square Park and played through two songs. No one dropped any change in my bag except one homeless man. I was deflated. A curious character Ray, in a fedora with a paunch who told me he was Jewish and Puerto Rican, spoke to me at length. Though a troubled soul himself, he served as an angel to inspire me forward. I hopped onto the N train going downtown with no specific destination. I got off at Canal Street and found a spot not too overcrowded. At the invitation of a hot dog vendor, I set myself up near him to attract customers together. Two songs later, and no more money collected I decided I was not cut out for this, at least not today. Yae called and said he couldn’t meet up until much later, so I decided to go home. I bid adieu to the hot dog man and walked in a random direction. As I stood at a crosswalk waiting for the light to change, who should I see walking across the street right in my direction but Ella! We were both pleasantly surprised. It had been some years since we had seen each other, we spoke briefly and exchanged contact info as she escorted me toward the train. I entered Canal Street station in a daze. In an underground passage, I noted a guy setting up percussion pads on his hands and knees to start some rhythmic busking, his own body being his drum kit. At first, I passed him then went back and suggested a jam promising he could keep any money we might generate as he seemed concerned about that. Our blues-based colorful jam created vibrant vibes echoing throughout that long hallway. We went on for nearly 20 minutes with my pad percussionist friend getting quite excited several times as he banged away on his own body. After our unique merger of energies, he introduced himself as “Dave, the poor homeless guy” and invited me to come back the following week. I went home to teach guitar and work on the Levelsix website. I never did make it back to jam with him again.

On May 1^st I was back around Union Square, both enjoying relaxing time and being present to protests and small rallies which were going on. There was a contentious atmosphere politically. Pro-Bush versus Pro-Kerry amongst other political stances. I was democratic leaning but mostly I felt that Bush was not fit to be president. I listened to the outspoken on both sides of the fence. I had my opinions but felt that the arguments of both sides were exaggerated and neither side was genuinely open to hear the other. 

I had taken on some music copy work which I was did using the music program Finale. I had a deadline to transcribe lots of sheet music by mid-May and was working feverishly each day to accomplish the task without burning out. My coffee consumption was going through the roof. Though imbalanced in some ways, I felt productive. Larisa and I spoke to each other on the phone sometimes encouraging one another to stay on track with our respective personal goals. Even if our romance was not to be, our friendship ran deep, and we could still communicate without too much weirdness. Amongst other things we helped to remind each other not to overdo drinking and smoking. I hadn’t gotten very wasted in a few months and was happy about that. I was looking forward to a musically productive and fun summer. 

I was always questioning myself and my world. Sometimes the questioning grew louder. I took my friend up on an offer and went on a retreat upstate with a Japanese Christian church at the end of May. I made some new acquaintances and experienced a degree of spiritual refreshment. On the walk home from Kings Highway station back in Brooklyn I already missed the cheerful atmosphere of the retreat. A renewed spiritual faith in a higher power was felt. The health insurance I had applied for and was relying on came through. Also, I heard back from Ella and we set up a time to get together and catch up, which was exciting.

I was doing well as a guitar teacher, making money, and maintaining a good rapport. My appreciation for my situation had expanded and I was recognizing that I can’t do it all. Frank the plumber, an older neighborhood gentleman, came over to fix something in the laundry room. I hung out with him as he worked. He shared some inside info about his trade as well as some lifelong wisdom and words of encouragement about the band. 

On Sunday June 20^th, Levelsix performed at the legendary CBGB (315 Bowery, NYC) night club. Jack and I first played there seven years prior with our high school-era melodic metal band Beauty and Chaos when Lou La Rocco served as guitar tech. Now Lou was the front man! It was cool to be playing there again with a more professional group and to a bigger audience. We met with a large group of our friends, fans, and supporters outside for a group picture. Afterwards I found myself with a group including Vicky and Kitty Davis, Lou, and Timmy V at a different night club nearby. The place had a sophisticated, chill vibe. I got drunk and high with my pals. I’m not sure how long it took for me to sober up before risking the drive home, but I imagine the dawn escorted me to bed that morning and I must have had a few protective angelic forces to whom I am eternally grateful for my safety.

A few days before 4^th of July I joined a group camping trip upstate near the Delaware River. The main purpose was debauchery. We arrived in the evening. I was an amateur amongst pros, so I quickly got in over my head and passed out. I woke up in a semi-abandoned trailer car feeling hot and hungover. But after breakfast, fresh air, and a dip in the river I was ready to continue the astral journeying as planned. Around 3pm magic mushrooms were passed out to those who had asked for them. This was a first for me. About 30-40 minutes after ingestion my world began to shift in humorous and frightening ways. I walked around the moist grass in socks and ended up wandering into the nearby forest across the road which involved minor mountain climbing in just socks, shorts, and a jacket with no shirt beneath. I had become a forest creature. As I gazed below, I felt anger toward mankind, those who ripped up the forests and polluted Mother Earth. I danced and alternated between being wracked with sobs and taken by giddy laughter as I conducted the trees in a musical performance. Eventually my camping comrades became concerned and came looking for me. I greeted them as if I was defending the forest from intruders. Yet I recognized that if I fell and cracked my skull, it would be these humans who would help me and not the trees and animals of the forest. So, begrudgingly, to myself I admitted that I was one of them. Back at the campsite it felt like the era of exploring the American frontier. We were a gang of misfits who survived better together as a pack than alone. I spent time circling the perimeter of the roaring fire pit with others nearby. It reminded me of my abilities as a tribe member to influence others through energy beyond simply physical.

On July 13^th, I hung out with fun and bubbly work friend Tara Zam. Afterwards she went to Freddy’s Bar to see some live music, but I stayed local. I reflected how tonight Jason Hills was seeing ZO2 perform at Tweeter Center in Camden, NJ with Kiss and Poison in front of tens of thousands. And Tara was now at Freddy’s where just two years prior I performed an acoustic show with the Z brothers for about 10 people. Life is weird!

On Friday July 16^th, Levelsix performed at a bar on the Coney Island boardwalk, called Cha Cha. Our friends Dirty Mother Nation were also on the bill. It was fun to gather in the summer air for a night of rocking out. Parking and unloading gear were a pain in the neck. I kept a bottle of bourbon whiskey on my Peavey half stack and took swigs throughout the set. It was loud, hot, and sweaty! A few days later I sent an email out to our mailing list that the not-so-new, but finally complete Levelsix website was now officially up. Levelsix played at Continental (25 3^rd Avenue, NYC) on July 27^th, a Tuesday at 8pm to a light crowd.

On August 5^th, Levelsix left on a trip to Los Angeles, CA. We did not go there to perform, but rather to visit various record labels, industry places and people. It was a vacation and a business trip all in one. We had some fun and it included debauchery. I smoked my first cigarette and began the habit of casual smoking one night after drinking most of a small bottle of Jim Beam before a night on the town. We visited Whisky a Go Go, The Viper Room among other establishments. We spotted Red Hot Chili Peppers’ lead vocalist Anthony Kiedis walking down the street one evening. I got out of the van with a press kit and ran to intercept him before he disappeared but didn’t make it. Who knows what we thought he (or any celebrity) might do for us if we gave them our material? But we were sure going to try and find out! Later that night a few of the band members hung out and took a photo with music industry insider and video jockey Matt Pinfield at The Rainbow Room. 

I received my first two tattoos during the trip, both on Sunset Boulevard. The second one, was of a small black heart on the inside of my right wrist. All the members of Levelsix, including our resident poet Beef, received this same tattoo together that day. I was proud of Levelsix for having taken this trip and I felt that it was a sign to both ourselves, and to others of how serious we were about our band and making this our career. 

Taking advantage of the momentum generated by the LA trip, Levelsix played two gigs the weekend after we returned. On Friday August 13^th, we played at the bar Chillers in Bayridge with Dirty Mother Nation and the next night out in West Hempstead, Long Island at Patti and Johnny’s Inn with Inborne. These small-scale gigs were good for us to feel active but playing to a relatively small crowd did not do much to boost band morale. I personally liked to keep an active performance schedule but not everyone in the band shared my philosophy and so we went into some dormancy as a live act for a bit.

My inspiration as an acoustic singer-songwriter had been low for some time, but my folk instincts kicked in as the hype built towards the upcoming November presidential elections. I even went as far as to conduct a bit of a light-hearted Anti-Bush campaign via email spearheaded by my new farcical folk song “Doesn’t Everybody Like Bush?” which critically poked fun at presidential candidate George W. Bush in a comical way. Jason Hills helped to record the song and Dave Evans was trying to get it some radio airplay.

September was a time of photo shoots. At the recommendation of collaborator Hana, I hired a pro photographer to do a solo photo shoot of me in downtown Manhattan with my classical guitar for my own self-promotion as musician, composer, and guitar teacher. Then our friend Nik E. shot Levelsix at Floyd Bennet Field on the old airstrip and around abandoned buildings. We used edgy photos from this shoot in our press kit. On September 30^th, a weekday, the Levelsix boys hit the streets of Manhattan early in the morning with a bunch of press kits ready to go. We were attempting to replicate our approach to the LA trip by knocking on record label doors in Manhattan as a group. Outside of Def Jam Records we saw rapper Ludacris and handed him a press kit. We were making our presence known.

Halloween weekend was bizarre and memorable. On Friday October 29^th I started the day in a fairly wholesome way engaging in biblical dialogue over coffee on Mom’s back porch with two visiting Jehovah’s Witnesses. I gave a vocal lesson, then attended a Levelsix business meeting with lawyer Jake Manor for the first time, which went well. We covered a game plan for his involvement. Jack, Lou, and I had a brief pow-wow in The BASEment apartment afterwards.

At 6:30pm I picked up my new female interest Kelly Edgewater and we headed up to Harlem. With another friend we attended an 8pm showing of the spiritual musical The Gospel of Colonus at the Apollo Theater. It was powerful, filled with good energy. As the music built higher and higher some cast members were crying onstage as the whole crowd stood up and clapped along. What an inspiration! On the way to the train afterwards I bought some food for a homeless man who asked me for help. He left the vicinity before I had a chance to get back outside to give it to him. Kelly was then accosted by a drunk woman who appeared to be a prostitute. I tried to appease the woman by offering her the food I had just bought for the now-absent homeless man. She threw it on the floor saying, “I don’t eat poison!”

In a rattled state, we hopped on the train. At 11:45pm we arrived at The Witches Ball at Arlene’s Grocery where we met with Timmy V, Kitty and Vicky Davis, and a slew of others. Among the great costumes were pagans, weirdos, witches, the Joker, demons, angels, male rabbits (with tights on), vampires, priests, nuns, and so on. At midnight we all took part in a pagan ritual. I was skeptical at first when they first began to conjure the spirits, but I found myself enjoying holding hands, swaying, and chanting along by the end of it. I arrived home thoroughly exhausted at 5am.

I woke at 12:38pm to Mom yelling down to The BASEment apartment.

“John!! Your student is here!!

I was shocked, embarrassed and in mild emergency mode. 

Oh boy . . . this sucks! I mumbled to myself as I jumped out of bed. Fortunately, this student, Sylvester, was forgiving. He was a teenager, a fan of Levelsix, and an aspiring shredding guitarist himself so it was perhaps not too shocking to him that my rock n’ roll lifestyle made me a somewhat informal teacher.

By 4pm I was at a Levelsix rehearsal. We ran through the set and worked out details for our upcoming gig. At 7:30pm I stopped at Judd Diamond’s place to record guitar for one of our countless collaborations. After this off-kilter and musically rich day I headed home to meet with friends and prepare for a late-night Halloween costume party odyssey. At 9pm Monique Horn came over and we waited for the others to arrive. At 11:45pm we left for a costume party in Newark, New Jersey which we knew little to nothing about. Our dressed-up motley crew consisted of Monique, Alfred Major, Kelly Edgewater, her girlfriend Aria, and me. I was the driver. On the way we got off course and ended up driving through foggy Newark Airport. The atmosphere in the car became tense and spooky. It was the first hours of Halloween Day, the fog made it difficult to see the road, and we did not clearly know where we were going (or why!). And I hoped that the car wouldn’t give us any trouble.

We arrived at the party at 1am. We parked on a desolate street and found the building. Was it a warehouse? It was an industrial building looming large in the gloom of this unholy hour. We slowly walked way up to the top floor in our costumes. We emerged into a big, open, and roomy space. On this voluminous floor could be found a kitchen, a bar, a pool table, a living room with a mini-stage, a wood-cutting shop, plus several separate individual rooms (for tenants). I was flabbergasted!

We were greeted by a character from Planet of the Apes. We met a pope, zombies, murder victims, a satanic angel, a hippie freak, a hockey player, oddly dressed plain folk, Cinderella, and a demon girl among others. It was a fascinating blend of people and attitudes. I struck up a conversation with Lucy, an older non-dressed up woman who hooted and hollered in between bouts of laughter, regarding Jehovah Witnesses and our differing approaches to interacting with them. My approach was to invite them into the house for coffee, bible study, and conversation. She, on the other hand, put up a sign on her front lawn that said, “I hate Jesus”. There were colorful conversations with various strange ones. I too was a strange one.

In between chatting and listening to Cinderella perform live jazz standards on the mini-stage, I would peer out of the huge industrial windows out onto what felt like the no-man’s land of Newark as it sat desolately in the nightly fog. It felt like a purgatorial oasis in the middle of hell. We left the unforgettable party. After getting held up in New Jersey due to the closing of the Holland Tunnel, I finally got home and into bed around 5:30am. Fortunately the clocks turned back and gave an extra hour of sleep. 

On Sunday Halloween morning I got ready for another trip. At 1pm I left for Philadelphia with Kelly and Aria. In the car I cut flyers, wrote lyrics, and listened to synth-pop industrial dance music. We visited South Street, spent time in a cool record store Ferret, and visited other venues and bars where I dropped Levelsix flyers, CDs, and a few press kits. In the hotel, Kelly and I had some time to ourselves, we messed around on the bed. Our relationship was still new and unclear. I felt weird she had a “girlfriend”, but the vibe I got was that it was ok for Kelly to be with me as well. That night we went to a bizarre, loud, super goth and wacky night club. We saw some electronic metal band who seemed to have a devoted following. There were demons, vampires, vixens, and all sorts of bizarre, and ghastly costumed creatures. My Halloween costume was the most sacrilegious I had ever worn, thrown together last minute. I was Santa Jesus. I had a Santa costume on minus the beard and hat. My eyes wore black eye liner and a crown of thorns[3] sat atop my head[4]. Kelly and I began dating regularly soon after that crazy Halloween weekend. The type of relationship we had was a first for me. On some level she was not “my type”, but her active interest in me encouraged me to give things a shot. We enjoyed ourselves.

Levelsix emerged from our performance hibernation and kicked butt at Don Hill’s (511 Greenwich Street, NYC) on the chilly night of Friday November 19^th. Beef opened the show as usual with his clever and raunchy half-screamed poetry. Then the band took over delivering an aggressive, heavy, and melodic set including a spot for a guitar solo which I called “Shape Shifter”. Various fans and friends attended including Kelly.

Thanksgiving was spent at Kelly’s home. Some of her family and friends were there as well as a very big Boxer dog which knocked me to the floor in its “friendly” way. Kelly lived with her grandmother and “girlfriend” Aria. I was not totally clear as to the exact nature of their relationship, but pretty sure that I was sharing Kelly with Aria and that this was ok. Aria was cool and a good singer in a rock band of her own. 

For Christmas Kelly came to our house. Now it was her turn to meet our dogs which she did in the noisy way our dogs were apt to be. I felt a bit embarrassed when I opened the gifts she bought for my birthday and Christmas that year. I received from her a beautiful, real sword and a collector’s edition of Lord of the Rings! I appreciated these awesome gifts although my gift to her may have cost all of $20. She knew I was not a financial warrior, and it didn’t seem to bother her.

Just before New Year’s Kelly and I went to see the industrial synth-pop artist VNV Nation live at Club Avalon[5]. Their most recent release at that time, Futureperfect, had become familiar to me and so I enjoyed the show in this genre outside my usual listening preferences. 2004 had been quite the strange ride.